Delirium!!!

Ok, so I've started my anti depressant. Hmmmmmm... Dr said, "Dana, this may cause drowsiness, so you should take this at night and after you've taken it, let me know how it works for you." So, I took my first one Wednesday night and at 4am, after the medication making me ANYTHING BUT DROWSY, I thought maybe doc would like to know how it makes me feel. Too bad I didn't have his cell number, because I sooooo would have texted him!!! lol  I skipped my Thursday dose and decided that I would try taking it in the mornings instead.  This morning was my first morning to take it, so we'll see how this works!!
  Delirium has officially set in. Not liking this one bit! I'm absolutely exhausted.  Exhausted to the point that I can't remember from one minute to the next.  I get out of the shower and think, "ok what do I do next, as I'm looking at my pajamas sitting on the counter".  My girls at work are being SOOOO understanding about this mess too!  I have to ask them on a constant basis, "ummmm, what was I fixing to do?", and their response is always, "well, I don't know, but here, let me help you think about it for a minute". Ha Ha  My brain has never, in it's 32 years, been on this much of an overload!  It's amazing to me how so much information can cloud one's brain to keep it from functioning properly.  I told the girls today, ummmmm I haven't even started chemo yet and look what I'm already doing!!  Bless everyones little hearts for putting up with me through this!!! They will definitely deserve a prize after this!! :)
  Alright, Thursday was my big day for my scans to see if my little "c word" had spread.  I woke up Thursday morning, after my two hours of sleep from my all night party with the anti depressant, in such a good mood!  I was happy and smiling and just over all in a super sweet mood.  I went to work and felt great, no anxiety, no heart ache, no heavy feelings.  I worked my normal work day, seeing patients and doing my thing.  Don't get me wrong, I KNEW the day was kinda a "big deal", but I chose to just keep my mind occupied on my patients.  I got to work and went and picked up my oh so yummy mixed berry barium contrast, which came in not one, but TWO containers.  I thought immediately, "yeah right, this is gonna end up being projectile chunked from my mouth right to the trash can, but whatever".  I was to be injected with isotopes at noon from my friends in Nuclear Medicine (that's where I was going to have my bone scan done).  And can I just say this, yay yay yay yay yay for knowing these FABULOUS nuc med girls!!! My friend, Jessica, started my IV and injected me. Kinda cool having your friends do all this stuff... makes it soooo much easier!! (I don't think she was very happy that I accidentally ripped the head off of their squeeze ball NASA man that they give their patients to squeeze when they start an IV, yet it was quite funny.)  A little while after I was injected, the CT girl called and said, "ummm do you work here, to which I replied, oh yes I do!!"  She said, "ok then get down here and bring back that crappy mixed berry junk and let me mix your contrast with apple juice." YAY ME!!! So a half gallon of apple juice and conrtast later, I drank that bad boy in 12 minutes, LIKE A CHAMP!!! Let me note, CONTRAST IS NOT FOR SISSIES EITHER!  I'll leave that explination alone...  It's time for me to get on the table for my bone scan.  Jess lays me down and gives me a blanket and a pillow and cuts the lights out and plays some nice, relaxing music.  Then, she leans over and ever so sweetly says, "chicka, it's gonna be just fine!!" Ahhhh the comfort of a friend during such a scary time!! I lay in the machine for about 20 minutes, just praying and asking God to just take it all away if it's spread anywhere else in my body.  Mom showed up just about the time that I got done with the test, then it's a quick hug from my friends A BIG HUG FROM MY MOMMA and off to CT, where they did a scan of my lungs, liver and lady parts to get a more detailed look to see if it's spread.  I get on that table and they have to push contrast through an IV in my arm. SUCH A WEIRD FEELING!  Ok, so when the contrast goes through your arm, it makes your whole entire body hot and flushed, gives you a weird taste in your mouth and pretty much makes you feel like you're wetting yourself. Haven't had that feeling since, well, never!!! "Hold your breath, breathe, hold your breath, breathe, hold your breath, breathe" were pretty much my instructions throughout the whole scan. Super quick and super easy, minus the wetting myself feeling. lol Now, it's wait, wait, wait, until I can get the results!  STRESS, STRESS, STRESS is more like it! 
  I got up this am, went to work and called my surgeon.  Left a message for him to return my call with my scan results.  IMMEDIATELY, I get a call back and I can hear the smile in his voice.  He said, "Dana, it's gonna be a good day!"  Well, ok then.  I KNEW by the tone in his voice that everything turned out ok, so I stood up and put the biggest smile I could on my face and waited to hear those words.  Surgeon says................. YOUR SCANS ARE NEGATIVE!!!! I said, I'm walking over to your office just to give you a hug for absolutely making my day (pretty sure by all the fb responses, it made everyone else's day too!!).  I hang up the phone and instantly do the happy girl, spazzy dance... You know, the one where your hair flies everywhere and you look like a total spaz?  Yup, that was me!  Pretty sure my patient's thought I was nuts, but I didn't care, I was just WAY TOO HAPPY!
I can not tell you how relieved I was... I also can not tell you how relieved that momma and sister of mine was!!! Mom said, tell all of your friends that I love them and I love you too!! haha She is SOOOOO stinkin adorable! I sure do love these two girls of mine! NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER would I be able to function in this house without these two!!! And my friends, man they have been AWESOME!  My work friends, my old friends, my new friends, my family, everyone has been absolutely incredible through all of this!  I just can not explain to you the peace and joy and love that I have been feeling.  Without ANY doubts, these feelings and hugs and encouragement from everyone are what's getting me through every single minute of every single day!  I smile when I hear my phone go off because I get so excited to see what encouraging words you all are sending me!  This has got to be the best feeling in the world!!! Does this situation stink? ABSOLUTELY, but... every single time I read a post or get a text or see a message, even before I read it, it makes me smile!  Silly, but I really do get excited. I'm absolutely LOVING ALL THE LOVE!!!! and the prayers... let's not forget about the prayers!  Beyond anything, I know that God heard all of your prayers because my scans were negative!!! Please keep them coming!!!!! The Lord has already blessed me in so many ways that I don't deserve through this.  The bond that I have with my friends has just intensified over this last week.  The love that my mom and sister and I share has only gotten stronger and I'm loving every minute of it!  Maybe this is going to be one of the blessings we ALL recieve from this situation?? Maybe God intended for each of us to grow stronger and closer? Who knows, but for now, I'm going to consider it my blessing. 
  Ok, these little eyeballs of mine are getting pretty heavy over here!! I've already tried to nap once today, but my fast little heart beat just wouldn't let it. It's back at it again tomorrow... 1230 I will be getting my boobie MRI.  Put that on your prayer list!! :)
  I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and thank you again for all of the prayers, love and support!!! :)  Big Hugs!!!!!